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Lady Gaga’s dog walker Ryan Fischer said he feels like his ‘purpose’ has ‘vanished’ after being shot while taking care of the pop star’s two French bulldogs in February.
Fischer reflected on his recovery while sharing a long Instagram post on Monday, telling followers while he’s healing physically, he’s still dealing with the psychological scars left over from the attack.
Ryan explained how he is ‘not yet in the proper headspace to care for dogs.’
Dog walker: Lady Gaga’s dog walker Ryan Fischer said he feels like his ‘purpose’ has ‘vanished’ after being shot while taking care of the pop star’s two French bulldogs in February
‘I am – for the first time in a very long time – without purpose, which has been the hardest part of this chapter,’ he admitted, after thanking people for their kindness.
Fischer looked at peace as he lounged on the beach in the photo that he shared with his roughly 13,500 followers.
In his caption, however, he wrote about the pain of revisiting the trauma.
Recalling many recent conversations he wrote: ‘You’re Ryan! You got shot. You were shot! Where were you shot? Where’d they shoot you?’
Violent crime: In February, Fischer was walking three French bulldogs – Koji, Gustav and Miss Asia – owned by Lady Gage, shown Sunday in West Hollywood, when he was shot four times
‘Over the past few weeks, after charges were announced and leveled against those who stole the boys and attempted to murder me, I continue to find myself on the receiving end of several conversations like this. With no arrow drawn to my wounds and no sign that reads, ‘I’m Ryan! I was shot,’ people still come up to me on my morning walks to let me know that I, in fact, had been shot. And that my given name continues to be Ryan,’ he posted.
‘It’s a strange thing to be known for a trauma that I’m still healing from. People want to reach out, share in my pain for a moment, and then walk away, leaving me to relive it again. It’s not intentional; it comes from a kindness and compassion that I welcome. Everyone’s support and well wishes have been incredible, and I am so humbled by every kind word and prayer that have come my way. It just hasn’t always been easy to navigate as I continue to find myself,’ he added.’
Fischer in his length post then focused on his struggle to recover from the trauma and his lost sense of purpose.
Long post: Fischer reflected on his recovery while sharing a long Instagram post on Monday, telling followers while he’s healing physically, he’s still dealing with the psychological scars left over from the attack
‘Along with the media attention and trauma recovery, I am – for the first time in a very long time – without purpose, which has been the hardest part of this chapter. Because I’m not yet in the proper headspace to care for dogs (whenever I perceive a dog is in danger I go on high alert and then break down and cry after), my purpose for the last ten years has suddenly vanished,’ he wrote.
‘So what do I do now during this necessary limbo? Do I sit and do nothing, or do I choose to cultivate another aspect of self that gives purpose? It’s funny, I set up this account years ago with a concept in mind: What would it look like if a gay Saint – specifically Saint Rocque, patron Saint of Dogs, Bachelors, and the Plague – were reincarnated and had to navigate modern celebrity culture? What would he do and say to get his message across? Would he get a van and explore this country, write about prison reform and healing, and comment about a late-stage capitalistic society through performance? Who knows, but I’m dying to find out. Not like get shot, dying, but I am excited to share in my bumbling exploration and storytelling with you along the way. To a purposeful journey!,’ he concluded.
In February, Fischer was walking the Oscar winner’s three French bulldogs Koji, Gustav and Miss Asia when he was shot four times.
Sweet pups: Gaga, who covered all of Fischer’s medical expenses, also offered a $500K reward for the safe return of her two stolen dogs
Two of the dogs, Koji and Gustav, were taken while Miss Asia managed to escape and went back to lay with Ryan as he bled on the sidewalk.
Last month, five suspects were charged in the dognapping – including the woman who returned Koji and Gustav.
Three of the suspects — James Jackson, 18; Jaylin White, 19; and Lafayette Whaley, 27 — have been charged with attempted murder and armed robbery, according to the LAPD.
Two additional defendants — Harold White, a known gang member and the 40-year-old father of Jaylin White, and his girlfriend Jennifer McBride, 50 — are accused of acting as accessories after the fact by helping conceal the stolen animals.
They were not aware that Gaga was the owner, the police said, amid claims robberies were part of a gang initiation.
Gaga, who covered all of Fischer’s medical expenses, had offered a $500K reward for the safe return of her two stolen dogs.
Brush with death: Fischer spent weeks in the hospital and was placed back in intensive care after his lung collapse
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